Sexism in Tetris
With all due respect to O’Danu, I have decided that the most critical threat to women who game is also one of the most ubiquitous, beloved puzzle games of all times.
That game is, naturally, Tetris.
Look! It’s got penises right on the opening screen!
Tetris started to become popular in the early 90’s, when it was released as the game that came with the original Game Boy. Since then, it has appeared on nearly every game platform, mobile phones, PDAs, and any handheld device with a D-Pad and a button to rotate the pieces.
Why has this game sold so well? Why has it become such a staple of the gaming culture?
The answer? Patriarchy.
The architectural motif: the constant building theme of Tetris, celebrates the male desire to subvert a woman’s natural life-producing abilities. Architecture is clearly an attempt by men to artificially emulate the life-giving power of the woman’s womb. Once a man has been able to create something that lasts, that gives comfort and shelter, it can be elevated to an art form — and the most mystical, beautiful accomplishment the female species has provided throughout history can be lessened and scorned. By both celebrating and gently mocking the architectural drive by making the game about the inherent anarchy of architecture, Tetris allows a woman’s natural life-giving abilities to be even further despised.
(It’s not a coincidence that Tetris came out in the early nineties, when postmodernism was hitting its stride).
But the most telling part of the game is the fact that that most highly-sought after piece in the game is the “long piece.” Could anything be more phallo-centric than the plunging of the long piece into a deep cleft of the field below? After which, the rows blink and disappear — the message? Once the vaginal area has been penetrated, it is conquered, it is unnecessary — and the player who did the penetrating scores “points” and moves on to the the next field. Truly, this only serves to reinforce the subjugating purpose of the architectural tradition. What sort of disgusting, sexist game have we been playing all of these years?
I hope you will join me in writing letters to the various game companies. We need a game celebrating the vulva, not only games that celebrate the phallus. Tetris should be immediately yanked from the market, and considered for a new rating. I think that it should receive nothing less than an “M” rating personally, but I suspect, given the fact that it is so beloved and the game companies are so blind to sexism that the best we could muster would be a “T” rating. But this is the most desperate crisis that the feminist movement has faced since suffrage. Tetris must be held accountable!
April 1st, 2007 at 1:05 pm
I only ever got to play Tetris on my cousin’s Game Boy, but it never held me for long. However because I seem to go generally unnoticed by the opposite sex, the poor oppressed male geek that I am (you female geeks have NO idea!) I may play it once again just to spite all those girls who didn’t like me in THAT way. I can see myself now, laughing maniacally as I wield the mighty “long piece”. (Maybe Im just weird, but doesn’t that just beautifully convey the everlasting need for penisuses?)
And thanks a lot by the way, your damn post has gone and made my cheeks hurt!
April 1st, 2007 at 1:29 pm
Thank you for the laugh. Now I have to figure out how to one up you.
April 1st, 2007 at 1:39 pm
*dies from the laughing*
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:38 am
*giggling madly*
Also, the holes or lattice structure are devalued, the feminist beauty of nothingness, the spaces between, the matrix and void, the weaving of the net… The “O” that makes us woman is, of course, what makes us lose the game.
8-P
April 2nd, 2007 at 9:05 am
OMG!! ROTFLH!!! This is on of the best April Fool’s post I’ve seen in years… Almost as good as one of my downloading sites saying they were under litigation and that the site was closed down for good.
April 2nd, 2007 at 2:02 pm
LOL! Fantastic.
April 2nd, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Funny as a fit. Of course, when someone writes so well and funnily ( and it is funny because it is quite CONVINCING)on the earnest topics, it sort of undermines genuine writing on the same topic, doesn’t it?.
April 2nd, 2007 at 6:18 pm
Tony, it wasn’t a joke. Everyone knows Feminists don’t have a sense of humor.
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:10 am
I don’t know about that, I am a feminist, and I like a laugh as well as the next person., and I DID like the skill of the writing. I just felt a tiny bit funny. I mean, my mum was forced into sort of economic, physical and political subservience when she married 55 years ago. And not alone. HER mum, more so.
Then people wrote earnestly on the rights we ought to have extended by our society, to our sisters, mums, wives, and we have made massive improvements. This was an ongoing process of course and is.So I felt you did such a good job of pastiche, it kind of cast a shadow on the topic.
maybe I am too old, eh, and the world has passed me by, and my concerns are anacronisim.
Anyway, I thought your writing was very good indeed, mate.
April 3rd, 2007 at 7:13 am
I don’t know why you keep saying this was a joke. Tetris is obviously a tool of the phallo-centric patriarchy to subvert the rights of women. I’m sure your mum, her mum, sisters, wives, etc would all agree that Tetris was singlehandedly the most misogynistic game to ever port to consoles.
April 4th, 2007 at 9:33 pm
ok then…stationary is also degrading to women. notice how a long pencil goes into the hole of the pencil sharpener
what utter bullshit is this. i think this specific feminist needs a diaper on her mouth to stop the crap from spewing out.
April 4th, 2007 at 9:47 pm
I suppose Dr.Mario is an example of how high society and professionals are germophobic and healthier then lower class people?
How about Super Smash Brothers Melee allowing you to hit women? i.e.: Mario hitting Princess Peach, man’s superiority over women? Nintendo should be sued!
…You’re nut lady, go back to bed where you ration your period in a cup and worship it as the chalice of femininity because we don’t need you and your insanity plaguing the internet which is already full of nuts.
April 5th, 2007 at 7:05 am
Heh, Tremendous.
April 5th, 2007 at 8:35 am
I’m not sure what “misogynistic” means, but I’d appreciate it if one of you gals could get into the kitchen and make me a sandwich. I’d do it myself, but I’m busy putting my penis on things. Thanks, babe…
April 5th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Bitch. You think you’re so smart. It’s just a fucking game!
April 5th, 2007 at 12:10 pm
Wow, your liberal arts education is really paying off. Next can you try to prove how Bubble Bobble is antisemitic? Or maybe you could prove how backgammon is homophobic? The public needs to be warned and shamed about the myriad terrible prejudices which exist in every so-called “harmless pleasure” that they enjoy.
April 5th, 2007 at 1:16 pm
Oh I get it, the comments are part of the joke right?
April 5th, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Funny funny funny. I love when people over analyze.
And yes, I get it, April Fool’s, haha.
April 5th, 2007 at 2:33 pm
Hi Ponygirl,
Sorry I miss read your article. I have a hard time getting sarcasm through text sometimes. Sorry for any idiots that posted on your site, I told them to keep their comments on Dtoid because I hate to see anyone get personality attacked over anything. Debate is fine but attacks are childish.
I posted an apology on the article and stated it was a joke article. Sorry I got confused but it still makes for a great debate. Games can have hidden message behind them like Oddworld games have environmental messages in them.
Sorry again for the mistake.
April 5th, 2007 at 5:06 pm
My God, Faith, you have a lot of fucking nerve. I can’t believe you left a comment over at Shrub just a few days ago about the importance of safe spaces, and then you turn right around and encourage hateful anti-feminist comments in your post at Destructoid. “Debate” is not the word for what you encouraged with your “reporting”, and I can’t believe that a woman as smart and experienced as you are wouldn’t know exactly what sorts of comments an article like yours was bound to elicit.
April 17th, 2007 at 6:02 am
Excellent April Fool’s gag, you pulled off some really good work.
May 3rd, 2007 at 11:41 am
“We need a game celebrating the vulva, not only games that celebrate the phallus” - HAHA!!!
Great work!! Best April fools joke I’ve heard so far.
How about an alternate version of the game where a big clump of blocks with a deep cleft in the middle comes down on a stationary “long piece” on the bottom of the screen? Would that help? At least its on top! 
May 3rd, 2007 at 6:28 pm
MPG-
I believe that one or two comments about feminists not having a sense of humor were, in fact, referencing a famous cover on Ms. magazine in the early 70s that showed a comic man asking a woman, “Do you know why feminists don’t have a sense of humor?” and her answering, “No. But if you a few bars I’ll fake it.”
Unfortunately, sarcasm is difficult to express in a simple comment and I think their subtlety was lost.
While there has always been a caution about joking with outsiders about such things (since they’re likely, like the trolls commenting above, to take one seriously), a dearth of laughter and chuckles has never been a problem.
The original story is hilarious and I will now post a link to my many feminist friends, all of whom have great senses of humor.
February 6th, 2008 at 3:04 am
[...] Faith made on Destructoid, not only were comments made on the original post but Feminist Gamers got trolled as well. Even though she specifically asks her readers not to do that, Faith is aware that her post [...]
May 15th, 2008 at 11:23 am
[...] from 4chan and their DDoS activities on feminist spaces to Mighty Ponygirl’s own posts about sexism in Tetris as an April Fool’s joke or her recent post on gamers being assholes to feminists drawing [...]